March 26, 2008...7:45 am
A Journey In Prayer: Finding God As A Friend
by Richard Gazowsky
Twenty-five years ago, I spent a lot of time writing stage plays. I found that after every production was done I would experience times of depression. It was as though I could not control my feelings. About this same time I started a journey, in prayer, to find God. I needed someone who could stabilize my emotional life.
It had been my experience that mainly older women spent time in prayer. Being the type of man that I was, this image totally messed with me. This all changed when, I happened to read the story in the Bible where Adam walked and talked with God in the cool of the garden. The thought of this totally blew my traditional religious concepts out of the water. I realized that I could walk and talk with God through parks and other scenic venues. This instantly inspired me to schedule my day around talking with my personal friend God about my ideas and future plans.
I have got to make it clear, that at least in my case, establishing a strong communication link with God, took a long time and a lot of discipline. Most likely, this was because of my own intellectual hindrances. I am sure for most of you it would be a lot easier. At first, I would daily walk and talk out loud to God quoting the Bible. Pretty soon it turned into a conversation. Amazingly, these talks became more frequent and enjoyable. I looked forward to them daily. This continued this way for a few years. My relationship with the Lord was; come up with the ideas, get approval from God, and then have fun executing my ideas with Him.
One day everything changed. I felt the Lord speak to me out of the blue that I should organize an outdoor crusade in Liberia, West Africa. This was to be a huge project and would cost 120 thousand dollars. This included plane fares for 57 people. In just a short time everything came together. I was amazed that even though the ideas were so radical to me, things were coming together nicely. I began to feel that I would like to do this type of ministry on a regular basis. This all changed however, when I received a special delivery letter from Africa. The missionaries in the country came together and realized that I had made a grave mistake. The outdoor crusade was scheduled right in the middle of the African monsoon rainy season. It would be impossible for us to manage an outdoor crusade during that torrential weather pattern.
This was a time that I really needed to talk to my friend, God. I went to church and found a place to pray. I laid the letter out before God. I was not prepared for what happened next. I was expecting God to give me a good answer on how to cancel the crusade and not loose all of our deposit money. Instead God shocked me and said, “Go ahead with the crusade, I will stop the rain.” This shocked me at the time more than it probably shocks you now. I realized that He expected me to obey Him and tell everyone that He would stop the rain. A whole new question came into my mind, “Is the voice that I am hearing in my head really God’s voice, or is it some altered ego of mine that I am not aware of?” It’s one thing when you hear God telling you to do something that doesn’t put your reputation on the line. This was not that case. This situation was going to prove if I heard from God or if I was just some looney tune.
I contemplated my situation for a few days. I realized that if I did not take a chance on what I had heard in prayer, I would never know if I had really heard from the God of all the universe. I also needed to verify if I could trust this voice. So, finally I wrote a letter to the missionary organization and told them that God was going to stop the rain and that we were going to go ahead with the crusade. Since I was sticking my neck out, I decided to stick my neck out all of the way. So we had banners and posters printed with the statement, “God will stop the rain.”
When we arrived in Liberia a week before the crusade, I and the 57 other people with me were thrilled to see sunshiny weather. This lasted for four days and then suddenly the monsoon season hit. It rained with such intensity that the main street in Monrovia, Liberia became a river. The local people were sailing their boats down the thoroughfare. Finally, the day of the crusade came. The rain did not let up. All day long it poured down in torrents. At 5:30pm I grabbed my wife and umbrella and we walked to the drenched crusade stadium. When we got there, about 150 local people had gathered along the stadium walls. I decided to face the music. I walked out on the stage to talk to my friend who appeared to be on the other side of the universe. I will never forget the little African pastor alone on the stage, dancing and shouting in the rain thanking God for stopping the rain. To be honest, I looked more like a funeral director walking back and forth holding my umbrella. At ten minutes after 6:00, Doug Lanza, the worship leader for the crusade, came running through the stadium tunnels and said, “Richard follow me, you have got to see this.” I followed him outside of the stadium and I saw a huge hole in the clouds heading in our direction. In a few moments the opening stopped over the stadium and almost instantly, the ground began to dry. The workers assembled everything on the stage and by 7:30, the starting time for the crusade, the stadium lights went on. There were already 7,000 people gathered in the stadium. This happened four nights in a row. By the fourth night it was the talk of the nation.
Yes I was scared and I thought my reputation was blown but then this friend of mine, God, ended up being closer than I thought. He was there all along. He was setting me up for quite a dramatic event. I used to think that I and God were just alike since I was made in His image. I figured that He thought just like me. Through the years, I have realized that the closer I get to Him, the more dramatically different from me He is. As a matter of fact, there is nothing about me that is God-like. I can honestly say however, that He is my best friend. This is a dycodomy that I cannot understand. It has also caused me extreme mental anguish until one day when God told me where the problem lay. I believe that it was a Saturday morning. I awoke from a beautiful, sound sleep, and God simply spoke to me, “The default program of your brain is unbelief, don’t try to understand me but just enjoy me.” Wow! This was going to require more faith and trust than I ever faced in Africa.
I had always been proud of my ability to calculate and explain what God was doing. But now I faced the issue of relying on simple trust. It is one thing to face your family and friends but it is another thing to face yourself. I knew that God was going to be leading me down some very difficult pathways. I was going to have to lead my employees and friends, without detailed explanations. What an adventure, what an experience of walking into the unknown.
It has been seven months ago since I made this decision and my friend God, has been true to form. He has asked me to do things that have been way beyond my capability and understanding, not to mention performance skills. The latest thing that He asked me to do is to launch a nationwide magazine. All that I can say is that I am looking for another hole in the sky.
Richard Gazowsky pastors a church in San Francisco called The Voice of Pentecost, and is also president of Christian WYSIWYG Filmworks. He has directed the films, “Guardians” and “The Roman Trilogy.”
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